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Amaroth • View topic - WIP County of Ersenai, County of falling blossom
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PostPosted: Fri 14 Sep 2012, 22:21 
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Well actually i didn't really use a example for the university. And will work on a detailed version of the foundation and that kind of stuff. Also I will change somethings and it will be the only university in Eckkenai.

And I experienced it myself about the hard to read pieces. So I will try to improve them self as well I guess and I appreciate it when you will check them.

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PostPosted: Sat 15 Sep 2012, 00:43 
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PostPosted: Sun 16 Sep 2012, 09:41 
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I have just one thing to say. Thank you very much for this advice :D

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PostPosted: Sun 04 Nov 2012, 19:26 
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I edited some things in the first post of this topic. Improved the information about the cities and did write something about the SPD
a organization which was first heard of in the Frontier (RP)

The article is placed in the spoiler

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Last edited by dhr duck on Sun 04 Nov 2012, 20:35, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Sun 04 Nov 2012, 20:14 
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SPD looks fine.. I only have my doubts about the organisation of the SPD. I mean that the king needs to have a very strict control over his people to make such a selection in his peoples childhood. Good administration etc. Also I gues there have to be more as 1 school, because of the travel distance...

Note; the unification took a couple of years, not a couple of weeks.

Note2; Not all of your sentences are right. You have written a few times "the" instead of 'they'.

Note3: I'm curious for Ulysses opinion. If he thinks it's fine, I will put it immediatly on the wiki..

Keep on your work! :D

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PostPosted: Sun 04 Nov 2012, 20:43 
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Schools are spread around Ersenai. And just a few people are involved in the recruiting progress. To build a organization like this took years, I could add a section about this. And indeed it takes a lot of work the keep it a secret. A lot of people die for keeping it a secret. And the children are really young when they are recruited so. It isn't easy. And the organization size should be add as well. It is not as big as an army. And the protection detail isn't fully aware of the SPD activities. Also people who ask the wrong questions will be eliminated.

Note; I know it took a couple of years, but the meetings and about the problem didn't take that long.

Note2; I did find it. Really stupid of me, thanks for notifying it

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PostPosted: Sun 04 Nov 2012, 21:41 
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Well this double post is to show you a conceptual symbol of ersenai:


File comment: symbol of ersenai: Made by the duck
vlag 2.jpg
vlag 2.jpg [ 52.9 KiB | Viewed 1677 times ]


I hope you like it

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PostPosted: Mon 05 Nov 2012, 17:53 
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Since the SPD is lobbying for an invasion on Avaren at the Imperial Court, I'm going to assume they answer to the Count of Ersenai and not the King of Avaren. However, it's an odd thing to do. What would Ersenai or its Count gain from an Imperial invasion? It would mean trouble for the King but that's way too petty to be the main reason to do something incredibly dangerous and grotesque. There aren't really benefits to it so I'm wondering why they would try.

About the recruiting. You mention schools a couple of times and give the impression that schools are very common in Ersenai. Once again I would like to remind you that schools and universities are nowhere as common in Avaren as they are in current-day Europe. Schools are something for cities and the elite.
Also, I think it's very odd that recruiting is done randomly. It lacks efficiency, as most of the selected younglings are bound to be unsuitable, resulting in a low yielding rate of the introductions you mentioned. Since the SPD appears to have a knack for information gathering it shouldn't be hard to pick potential recruits by monitoring things like physical prowess and personality. You save a lot of time you'd waste on introductions otherwise.

Next thing, I'd like to see a bit of history added to the article. Organisations like these don't just pop out of the ground like mushrooms and if my feeling is right these guys played a large role in the founding of Ersenai itself.

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PostPosted: Mon 05 Nov 2012, 21:26 
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PostPosted: Mon 05 Nov 2012, 22:40 
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Y'know, it would really help us understand better if you give this kind of information in advance. We can't put lines like "there's a reason for that" in an article and then not elaborate. I understand you want to keep some things vague in order to add a little enigma (or maybe something RP-related) but if there's a reason you are going to have to give it. And while you're at it add stuff like the informal lack of acknowledgement of the King and trivia like that. Prevents a lot of confusion with little effort.

As for the schools: I think I gave you permission for one single university in Ersenai earlier so there shouldn't be an issue about it now. Lower schools are still something that's rather elite. You can find a teacher under every rock these days but that used to be very different. Being a scholar is kind of a big deal and if you want to house a teacher you'll have to offer him facilities usually only found in cities. I'm not saying it's impossible to place a school in a village but province-wide compulsory education is impossible for almost every county or duchy out there.

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PostPosted: Fri 09 Nov 2012, 12:17 
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The map of Ersenai :

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PostPosted: Sun 30 Dec 2012, 18:56 
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Here the article over the SPD again. I did rewrite some things and extended it.

Also I want something to add about the pact between the order of swordsmen and the SPD. But there for I need a little more info about the order. So that will follow

Further I guess it is finished.



Secret protection detail

The secret protection detail, in short SPD, is a top secret organization under direct command of the king of Ersenai. Purpose of this organization is to assist the king secretly. They kill for the king, they gather intelligence and protect him and if needed they protect other important people as well.

The field workers ,also called agents, of this detail are elite warriors, trained by former field workers.

Founding of the SPD

The founding of the SPD was around 100 b.d. The king founded it as an insurance. Later on a king decided that also the counsel need had to know about the SPD. Of course he didn't tell everything, just what he wanted them to know. He told that there was an organization, supplying intelligence to them which could be used by expanding the country and improved control about the political games played by the lower noble. He didn't tell of course, that they also were his personal assassins. And the SPD gathered much more information than the counsel was told and was much more spread around the area that is now known as Avaren.

The founding of the SPD was a process of almost 300 years. It took a lot of time and money to make an organization as powerful and reliable as this one. The experimented and taught a lot about how to handle things. And finally in 189 a.d. they were a kind off finished. The way of recruiting has proven itself over and over. Just as the way they work, the way they handle with corrupt agents and all that kind of stuff.

Of course the SPD hasn't stopped evolving and improves itself whenever it can. They can adapt quickly when needed and are really progressive. But the fundamentals are staying almost the same.

Recruiting.

The SPD recruits people most of the time randomness. They sent invitations to young males and females, around the age ten. Those children are invited for schools spread around Ersenai (Mersetai, Vrestenai and Omesensis are the places where the schools are located). When the recruiters think they could be capable of being a SPD member, the youngsters will follow an introduction at their school. After the introduction follows a selection by a commission of the SPD. People which doesn’t fit the requirements will return to the normal curriculum and get a good education. The people that does fit the standards will follow a four year training.

This four year training contains a lot of things. They become great in all kinds of weapons and will learn to interrogate people and are learned to don’t tell a thing when they are interrogated. Also they learn to kill and survive. After this four years another commission and another selection round take place. In this selection round do you get two groups. The ones who are not suitable of being an elite agent. and the ones that are suitable. The persons who didn’t become a field agent will be a member of the protection detail of the king or become officers in the army.

The suitable agents will follow an additional training of two years. In these training they are fully introduced in the SPD. They will be trained further in the interrogation skill and the will do their first field missions with a mentor. And after this two years they have enough experience to call themself rookies and do Solo missions.

The method of recruiting doesn’t seem like to follow a common sense method. And looks like it is not very efficient. However it is an effective way. One of the main priorities is remaining a top secret organization. Using this total random way of recruiting people servers this goal. It doesn't look like something suspicious with this method.


The SPD has changed a lot since the unification of Avaren. What changed was there way of operating and there missions. Also became the standard of being a fieldworker much higher and everything became more secret than it already was

SPD before Unification.
The SPD operate mostly in Ersenai itself, gathering information for the political games of the king. This didn’t change much after the unification, but it wasn’t their mean purpose anymore.

The SPD also operate outside Ersenai. Gathering intelligence about their neighbours, which was used for the games, potential wars and trading’s. Also they did kill people which were forming obstacles for the King.

SPD during Unification.

During the unification, the SPD did play a great role in a lots of things. It was common knowledge in Avaren that Ersenai didn’t want to join it. The SPD investigated other countries if they wanted to join or not. Or maybe they could start a war together against the other countries which wanted the unification. Of course the reason was clear for the unification, but still Ersenai didn’t want to. The King and the counsel made clear that they were willing to send armies to the borders for protection and even they wanted to send fieldworkers into the empire. But that wasn’t enough apparently, so it didn’t happen that way. And if it didn’t happen that way, the SPD wouldn’t never be used for Avaren.

End over the years and lots of meetings between several parties in Ersenai it became clear. If they would Ersnai let exist it was unavoidable not joining Avaren. And maybe in the future they could take back what was once of them.

SPD after Unification.
The unification was a fact, not much changed for the SPD. Only the Eckkenburg family disappeared. The SPD continued of course and was still top secret. They were always collecting information about important people, information which was able to destroy these people. And of course the crown still needed protection. The SPD had even plans to infiltrate the empire. Maybe they could find some mercenaries here to guide their low quality army into a war against Avaren itself and they were also lobbying to destroy Avaren. Which is very dangerous job.


The pact with the order of Swordsmen

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PostPosted: Sun 30 Dec 2012, 22:10 
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PostPosted: Tue 15 Jan 2013, 14:58 
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The reaction might come a little late, but I was kind of busy with new year and homework, but anyhow, this is my opinion.

First things first, there are some quite annoying errors to be found. For example, later on in the article, you mix op their and there. Your grammar is off from time to time to. Rereading wouldn't be a bad idea.

Why is the SPD so widespread, even before the unification of Avaren? How is that relevant to their goals? The Empire couldn't have been that much of a threat or ally to Ersenai that they needed to spy there.

I also don't see how recruiting at random could help with keeping the organization a secret. Because getting a weird letter about joining a school is totally not suspicious, especially if people went missing after joining that school.

Also, was it just the king that founded it? Or did he have some help form a general or something alike?

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Last edited by Wubbles on Wed 16 Jan 2013, 08:41, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Wed 16 Jan 2013, 06:53 
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Sorry to say wub, but your vocabulary is a bit off. You mean threat yet you wrote treat, which means that there would be a party with candy or something like that.


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